Step one: Buy yourself the best mellon on the market , I had to forage 40 minutes before I could find one. Although I wanted the regular avriety, I got the chinese instead. Talk about market encroachment. Ok this is what you dont want, ok no Chinese , noo slice to check readiness of the fruit, cause it'll mess up the trick. You want the mellon whole and ripe.
Step two: Get your shit together: Knife, Vodka and mellon. Since Im always upto no good I choose the most suited contender. Make sure your knife is sharp and your Vodka stronger. Chugg down a good glug of the vodka, slap some on the mellon to anesthesise the fruit and lets get this shit on the road eh?
Step three: DRILL, carve in a hole and scoop out the contents. Eating the contents in a ritualistic fashion is of utomst importance, remember to make a small offering to the gods. Ensure that the hole you carve is smaller than the mouth of the bottle so when the bottle gets in there it fits snugly.
Step four: PENETRATE! Invert the mellon and stick the bottle right in there with one smooth motion. Re- invert and stand it up in a corner, with the butt facing the sky, just the way I like it. Cool then almost there.
Step five: Patience. Slosh fruit awaits you tomorrow. Let her sit overnight. The mellon flesh being porous absorbs the vodka. Your just allowing it to infuse, you could chuck in some herbs or flavourings but I prefer her O naturel!
Ill put up the happy faces tomorrow!
hahahaha
Wait Wait, What exactly are we trying here ? And was all this done before the vodkas was over ?
ReplyDeleteThe best way to enjoy your vodka would be:
Step 1: Open the bottle
Step 2: Drink itr neat or with limca. eRR, Did i forget to mention drink it in a glass?!
Sorry Grandpa, Old school nights are on mondays
ReplyDeleteOkay son! But i prefer getting sloshed the very same moment, and not prapare a drink and get sloshed the next day :)
ReplyDeleteAnd waddya mean old school nights on Moday's? Son, you gonna teach me to Fuck granny wearing a zipper on, eh?!
ReplyDeleteNo but i can teach you how to get granny drunk without her knowing it
ReplyDeleteRuncil's blog sucks??? I love urs!
ReplyDelete