Friday, June 12, 2009

Can you dig it?

Take a walk with me, I said to someone recently. Lets go down the road past that shady club . Now obviously no one in their right mind would take a walk with a guy sporting a mohawk on a poorly lit street. Thats what anyone would think but the reason I had to walk all alone braving the rants of those drunken spoiled rich kids on that brisk night was because somebody forgot to do their job again.

I tripped five time and bruised a knee and yes, my laces were properly tied MA. If you havent figured it out yet, then your not a citizen of Mumbai and have no right to share our disgust for the government and its 'methods'. See our city loves to play games with us, we've got the rains that oh, so love us and although so diligently late refuse to leave without washing a couple thousand of homes away .

Then we've got the terrorists, brilliant folk who think smacking around and firing some rounds at a couple of uppercrest southbombay snobs is gonna shake us. Come on man we've seen more action in a hot jam packed Virar local . I'll show you how ugly Mumbaikars can get. Dont you go and push our buttons, we bite!

Im meandering, the real reason of concern is why the hell is the BMC digging so much:

  1. Guilt: there is a theory that the BMC has grown a consience over the past few years, wait I know it sounds ridiculous, but run with me. Theyve decided to give us our moneys worth and build us good roads. baah highly unlikely.

  2. Gold: My grandma (God rest her soul) used to tell me stories of a Lord Henry the third who forced all his slaves into burying his family kangan and barthans in the khaaddis. Ofcourse the slaves being future mumbaikars decided to invest in ICICI's mutual fund investment. But they got so frustrated with the long line at the bank that they decided to go to McDonalds. The obnoxiously loud children wailing away and the inept service clerk's Mallu accent drove them mad. They gave in to the dumbest dude's idea and buried the shit. One of the BMC officials got this story out of gramps when he was reporting a broken street lamp and they've been digging since.

  3. Atlantis: Ohh! The Harrapans sneaky little bastards, they were believed to construct a city bang under Mohenjodaro. Oh it was a magical land with a sea lion named Assland and talking under water beavers, not to forget sea monkeys. A land of abundant plankton and happily frolicking Spongebobs. BMC wants to take credit for its discovery, Im out to expose their devious ways.

  4. Practising: Practise makes perfect, The BMC have raised their standards nothing but the best for its citizens. Their motto, "Fuck it up; start again, get it right, then soemone's made a boo boo" either that or "Newton didnt discover gravity on the first go" or "we dont build roads, we build dreams" its a nailbiter.

  5. Prison: some staff on the BMC force want to get out but are bound by theyre contract, since they've sold to BMC. Theyre only way out of this mess is to dig theyre way out of Mumbai

  6. Digging theyre way to China: You spin my head right round right round when you go down, when you go down down.

  7. Developing new employment oppurtunites, coping with recession

Paving the way for a better future aamchya BMC, Jai HO!


  1. hey if u dig in the road toreach smwhere in India, u'll reach the Atlantic, not China, I guess they're lookin for unltd supply of water!

  2. dnt piss em off dude!! rains r just round d corner!!! what if.....!! heh heh... but true stuff... They seriously need 2 privatize BMC or atleast outsource it's wrk id say! ppl will lose jobs, but work will gt done... n gt done fast n more efficiently.